The Wand Chooses the Wizard

An Introduction

I have decided to start this writing journey on substack. I have never in my life aspired to blog. I want to write when I want to write. I do not want to write when people tell me to write. I am stubborn, like any creative. “Lead me when I want to be led, Michael” Ryan once tells his boss in The Office. It’s kinda like that.

Writing has been an incredible way of connecting deeper with people over the last 15 years of my life. From writing Facebook posts, to Instagram posts, and eventually even a book in 2020. I have been very fortunate, and I have been given enough praise to accept that I have this gift with words. Simply, and perfectly put by a magnificent wizard, one Albus Dumbledore:

“Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it”

I have been on an insanely generational Harry Potter bender lately. On a Saturday night roughly two weeks ago, I purchased the video game Hogwarts Legacy on my X-Box. I followed that with all 8 movies. It was exactly my second time watching them, but maybe the first time I was watching them engaged, and for myself. I am now through one book, and there is no stopping this Hogwarts Express of a train in sight. It is probably part of what inspired me to share my writing again. It is definitely what made me accept that this is my form of magic in the world of muggles we live in. Not because I feel so strongly that I am a gift to people, or even that I just think I’m a great writer. Rather, there are very few things in my life that I have been complimented on in the way I am commended for this. For writing. Furthermore, it is the way other people feel about my writing. The way they remember it. It is the messages I have recieved from strangers about my own story. How it helped them in their own journeys. It is the genuine and heartfelt curiosity I feel from people that are important to me, when they ask me about my writing. All of those things have empowered me to believe I have a little magic inside me.

In truth, it’s really hard to explain. The best way I can do so is to recognize this: If I am not writing, not sharing my writing, or not sharing my perspective on certain aspects of life, I am refusing to acknowledge and use one of the best gifts I have ever been given. I am ignoring and frankly, wasting a strength that brings me closer to people. One thing writing does for me is it allows me to be the most true version of myself. Vulnerable is the trendy buzzword here. This is who I really am. I genuinely don’t care who will read this, or if they will like me. I recognize that you are not supposed to say things like this. I am also still human, so I prefer to be well recieved. The reality is, I like me, and that is actually more valuable. My life got significantly better when I stopped being afraid of what people thought, and I just accepted who I was. I started obsessing over the things I loved about myself. It was mentally very healthy for me. I am kind, I am funny, and I am even selfish. I dont love that I am selfish, but I love that I have enough of a boundary to say “I need alone time regularly to be the best version of myself”.

There is part of me that still views writing as….a bit of a cruel mistress, so to speak. I bet heavily on myself, and self-published a book. In my head, that was going to take me different places in life. It did. In fact, I went backwards a significant amount, professionally. However, I would never even come close to saying it was a failure. It was very much a success to me. It’s just also complicated. I think that entire scenario is probably best saved for its own story, some day soon. Ultimately, what I know now is this: It’s pretty hard to accomplish your life long goal at 35 years old. Because the thing that motivated you, day in and day out, is gone.

So what comes next? Well, honestly I am still sorting that out to some degree. It has been a journey and I look forward to sharing more about that soon. For now though, I am excited to be here. I am excited to have a space to compile some of the things I have written. Some things I am very proud of. I am excited to let people a little more into my life, through my words. In the world of magic, it is words that craft themselves together to serve as my wand. And as we all know, the wand chooses the wizard…